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What do we mean by ‘self-sabotage’? Here are some common examples of self-sabotaging behaviour, along with their results. You might recognise some of them:
- Trying to stop smoking when part of you doesn’t want to – resulting in an early relapse
- Trying to lose weight without addressing the underlying issues – resulting in repeated yo-yo dieting
- Trying to be a success in a career you don’t really like – resulting in stress and under-achieving at work
- Wearing a business suit but with sloppy grooming and accessories to send the message “This is not who I really am” – resulting in people not taking you seriously.
Listening to your emotions as well as your reason can prevent many instances of self-sabotage. Your unconscious mind notices information that your conscious mind might miss – either because the signals are too faint to register with your conscious awareness, or because your conscious attention is focused elsewhere. Feelings are one of the main ways that your unconscious mind communicates with you, so doubts, misgivings, or just feelings of unease are worth paying attention to.
This isn’t to say ‘abandon your goal or decision if you’re net 100% enthusiastic about it’ – but what I am saying is, investigate what those feelings are trying to tell you, and do something to resolve whatever they’re telling you about.
Questions to Help Prevent Self-Sabotage
If you need to make a decision, explore the answers to these questions before you act:
- Do I really want to make this change?
- Is this my goal, or someone else’s?
- If I make this change, what will I miss out on?
- What purpose did the behaviour I am trying to change originally serve?
- What would be different if I went for this 100%?
- What will be the effect of this change on other areas of my life?
Find satisfactory answers to any doubts and then go for it!
© 2026, Andy Smith. All rights reserved.